Muppet Christmas Carol: NeverSeen Anime Version
by NeverSeenAnimeVersion
Summary: What if Muppet Christmas Carol contained anime characters instead of Muppets? Starring Light Yagami as Scrooge, Sora as Gonzo, Edward Elric as Rizzo, and Allen Walker as Kermit!
1. Charles Dickens

Keyblade: Yay! I'm writing something!

Lelouch: You make me sad. Keyblade and Bookworm also don't own a thing, so kindly don't sue.

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It was Christmas Eve, and the town was bustling with activity. People dressed for the cold where either doing last-minute Christmas shopping or going to a relative's for a party. Vendors were yelling into these crowds, hoping to get some sales in. Two boys trying to sell apples were no different.

The smaller one wore a red coat with white gloves. He had blond hair tied in a braid, golden eyes, and an annoyed facial expression.

The other wore a crazy multi-colored outfit that really did not look suited for the cold weather. His jacket had short sleeves and was left unzipped. He hadn't even bothered to lift his hood to cover his incredibly spiky brown hair. He wore fingerless gloves, a silver crown on a chain around his neck, and yellow shoes that looked far too big for human feet. From the look of happiness in his bright blue eyes, it was clear that the cold did not bother him at all. He was currently eating all their products.

"Hey Sora, we can't sell apples if you just eat them all!" the blond boy complained to his friend, shivering despite his coat.

It was hard enough selling apples to people when they were busy trying to get out of the cold, but with the way his companion was eating them, he wondered if they would end up selling any at all.

The spiky-haired youth scoffed at his friend. "Well, some of us can't help it if they get _really _hungry, Ed. And I'm trying to create a scarcity so that people will buy them."

Ed glared up at him. "Like you're hungry every single minute of the da--"

Sora stopped him, noticing that there was an audience reading this story. "Hello! Welcome to the Anime Version of the Muppets Christmas Carol! I'm here to eat all the food and tell the story."

"And I'm here on a top-secret mission from Eastern HQ. In order to find out more information about the area, I'm stuck selling apples with this idiot."

"I'm Charles Dickens."

"And I'm Edward Elric-- Hey wait a minute!"

Sora glanced over at his short companion. "Yeah, what?"

Ed gave Sora a suspicious look. "You're not Charles Dickens."

"Charles" looked appalled. "I am so Charles Dickens!"

"Uh-huh, I'm sure Charles Dickens had hair that looks like a porcupine sat on his head and a house key bigger than his arm. And when he wasn't writing novels, he was hunting heartless. " Ed retorted as sarcastically as he could.

"You're just the nicest person in all the worlds, Ed. But I really am Charles Dickens."

Ed wondered whether "Charles" had a few too many potions or had hit his head on some sort of hard object. "What's gonna make me believe that you're Charles Dickens?"

The spiky-haired boy laughed. "Well, it's because I know this _Christmas Carol _like the back of my hand."

"Prove it!" Ed challenged.

"Okay…" said the wannabe Charles Dickens, closing his eyes. "See? This hand's got a black glove with a silver X on it and holes for my fingers to make it easier to hold my keybl--"

"Not the hand! The story! Y'know, the thing we're supposed to be telling." Ed complained.

"Oh right! Thanks…" "Charles" cleared his throat. _"The Marleys were dead, to begin with-_-"

"Hold on," Ed interrupted. "_That's_ how the story begins? With you telling everyone about two dead people?"

"Charles" smiled. "Yup, that's how the story begins--_ 'The Marleys were dead, to begin with...'_"

"Huh…"

"_As dead as a doornail,"_ he continued, trying to set up an atmosphere.

"That's... pretty good. It's a creepy beginning," Ed reluctantly complimented.

"Why thank you, Ed!" Sora glomped his friend.

"You're welcome, Mr. Dickens," Ed answered, pushing him off. He started to munch on an apple, in spite of himself. It was better than starving in the cold, at least.

"_In life, the Marleys had been business partners with a shrewd money lender named… Light Yagami._ We'll meet him as he comes around… that corner."

Ed looked around, obviously confused by this statement. "Where?"

"There."

"When?"

"Now."

Right on cue, Light came from around the corner. He wore a long, dark coat, and carried a cane, although he didn't need one. He had this murderous look in his eye, like anyone who crossed his path would be killed. He also hated Christmas. Wonderfully likable guy, no?

"Brr… It just got a bit colder… Perfect..." Ed grumbled, tugging his coat closer to himself.


	2. Light's Song

Disclaimer: We do not own Muppets, Christmas Carol, Death Note, Kingdom Hearts, Fullmetal Alchemist, or any of the many other animes and video games in this fanfic. We don't own the rights to them either. Please do not sue us.

As Light walked around the corner, music began playing. Ed looked rather startled, since this music had no apparent source. Sora, however, just nodded as if it was right on cue. Everyone Light walked by suddenly broke into a song about him, but he somehow failed to notice this.

Jiraiya, old ninja with a toad-like wart, began the song. "When a cold wind blows it chills you! Chills you to the bone!"

"But there's nothing in nature that freezes your heart like years of being alone!" Tsunade, female ninja beside him, joined in.

A red-eyed colonel named Jade sang the next line. "It paints you with indifference like a lady paints with rouge!"

Luke, his red-haired friend, ran up to him. "And the worst of the worst…"

"The most hated and cursed…" Mieu, the big-eared cheagle on Luke's shoulder chimed in.

"Is the one that we call Light!" Luke finished, knocking Mieu off his shoulder and stepping on him for interrupting.

"Unkind as any…" sang Sloth, a homunculus who seemed oddly familiar to Ed.

"And the wrath of many…" the smaller homunculus beside her added.

"This is that Yagami Light!" Sloth finished.

Lloyd, Genis, Presea, and Sheena eagerly sang the next line. Zelos sang too, but kept rubbing his throat, as if something was wrong with his voice. The five friends sang in unison, "Oh, there goes Mr. Humbug! There goes Mr. Grim! If they gave a prize for bein' mean, the winner would be him!"

"Oh, Lighty loves his money cause he thinks it gives him power," sang a group of students who looked like they had once been wealthy before Light's greed impoverished the town. Tamaki, their leader, gestured flamboyantly to another group, signaling that they should sing too.

"If he became a flavor, you can bet he would be sour!" Itachi, Sephiroth, and Naraku sang in unison. They all appeared very evil on their own, but looked perfectly innocent next to Light.

"Wow, even the villains don't like him…" Kyo, an orange-haired bystander, said in amazement.

"There goes Mr. Skin flint!" sang Shinji, Rei, and Asuka, another group of teenagers. Asuka elbowed Shinji to make him sing louder. "There goes Mr. Greed!"

As Light walked by a house, Inuyasha and Kagome, a dog-like boy and a schoolgirl, peered out of its window and sang, "The undisputed master of the underhanded deed!"

"He charges us a fortune for his dark and drafty houses," sang another group of students led by a girl who was one of the few townspeople to remain enthusiastic about anything. Haruhi sang, "Us small folk live in misery!"

A silver-haired boy named Yuki walked by, singing "It's even worse for mouses!"

A choir consisting of the most kind-hearted girls in town stood by the side of the road. Colette, Flonne, and Tohru all sang, "He must be so lonely. He must be so sad. He goes to extremes to convince us he's bad. He's really a victim of fear and of pride. Look close and there must be a sweet man inside!"

Light stomped by the choir, glaring at them all. They reconsidered their song for a moment. Then they all shook their heads and said, "Naaaah! Uh-uh!"

By now, large crowds were assembling to sing about Light. A group of ninja sang, "There goes Mr. Outrage! There goes Mr. Sneer!"

Kabuto, the local puppeteer, sang, "He has no time for friends or fun!"

His puppet added, "His anger makes that clear!"

"Don't ask him for a favor cause his nastiness increases!" sang Ichigo and Rukia, a pair of soul reapers sitting on a cart that drove by Scrooge.

"No crust of bread for those in need!" added their friend Chad.

"No cheese for us mices!" Yuki sang again.

"Light liked the cold. He was hard and sharp as a flint, cold and self-contained, as solitary as an oyster," Sora continued to tell his story as the song paused. Ed was starting to look a little impressed.

Now, the crowds of singers were so large that it was impossible to identify individuals. They all sang, "There goes Mr. Heartless! There goes Mr. Cruel! He never gives! He only takes! He lets this hunger rule!"

The choir chimed in, "If bein' mean's a way of life, you practice and rehearse!"  
An old gentleman named Watari added, "And all that work is paying off cause Light is getting worse!"  
The crowd nodded and sang, louder than ever. "Every day, in every way, Light is getting _worse_!"

Light finally turned around in front of his office door and glared at the crowd. Everyone gasped and ran away, pretending they had never said anything against him. Light cast one final glance around the town, then entered the dreary building that was his office.

"So, what did you think of that?" Sora grinned, clearly very proud of himself. "I told you I'm Charles Dickens."

Ed just stared from Light's office to the previously singing townspeople, completely speechless.


End file.
